A Visit to Quakertown in 3 conversations with my mom

1) On Cleaning

Mom: Why are you vacuuming?

Me: The cobwebs finally got to me.

Mom: I know you won’t believe me but I just cleaned this up last week.

Me: Then why is it full of spiderwebs?

Mom: Because they build their webs fast!

Me: WHY IS YOUR HOUSE FULL OF SPIDERS?

2) She Only Wants To Talk About Her Special Little Guy’s Blog

Me, watching Olympic Women’s Rugby: There’s a Kenyan rugby player named Philadelphia Orlando! That is maybe the best combination of names–

Mom: Speaking of that, why is your brother posting on his blog about Orlando Bloom’s penis?

3) Boltons Don’t Know What Friends Are

Mom: There’s this woman. I GUESS she’s my friend. We talk a few times a month and go for coffee and she tells me all her problems.

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One thought on “A Visit to Quakertown in 3 conversations with my mom

  1. We all have different working definitions of “friend”. Not a Bolton-only problem. Facebook didn’t help matters any. How can somebody be your friend if you unfollow them?

    As for Orlando Bloom’s man part, I think I’ll pass on clicking on the link.

    Like

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